Bring The Death Penalty To Miami – Forever

When you hear “the U”, a variety of different images can pop into your head, girl or boy, 20 years old or 80 years old, Miami native or Spokane, Washington native. Some think of Jimmy Johnson and his players ditching the dinner prepared with tender care for Hurricane and Penn State players before the Orange Bowl, which was an attempt for the players to bond, only to take over a bar and disturb the peace of nearby homes. Others think of a slew of dirty hits Miami has administered over the decades. And most recently, the disgraceful image of Hurricane players swinging helmets and crutches at defenseless FIU players and coaches only five years ago.

Personally, my image is that of Randy Shannon refusing to shake hands with Urban Meyer after the 2008 because Meyer “ran up the score”. Yeah, 26-3 is really running up the score. That’s why Kentucky didn’t complain during the 63-5 nuclear bombing the Gators gave them a few weeks later. Or why Charleston Southern took their 62-3 smacking a year later without a word of complaint.

Look, whatever your personal image is, every image is of something the Canes did wrong. They are without a question the filthiest, foulest, most repugnant group of creatures ever to step foot on planet earth. Even before this stunning set of allegations, I was all for stomping the Hurricanes out of existence for good. But now, after hearing that over 70 players over a nine year span were given improper gifts and benefits, and at least 12 coaches knew about it… my voice trails off.




If you don’t understand how big of a deal this is, imagine Will Muschamp knew that Jeff Demps was given $30,000 to play at Florida. That would be bad enough. Now imagine that Billy Donovan knew that Alex Tyus and Chandler Parsons were also given $30,000 to play for Florida. Then imagine that Kevin O’Sullivan knew that Preston Tucker had been given multiple trips to a strip club for free, was given his own prostitute and told to make her his own “personal sexual activity canvas”, and received $10,000 on top of that.

How serious is that, you think?

Cool. Now multiply that by about 12.

That’s about the trouble Miami is facing.

Football wasn’t the only sport involved, although it was the main one, so we’ll focus on that. But the men’s basketball team also had a few of its players brought to them courtesy of Nevin Shapiro’s sickening gifts.

For god’s sake, some of these gifts are just revolting. You’re going to go up to a high school athlete, pay him a lot of money to come to your school, that’s pretty bad, but to offer personal prostitutes?

That’s sick.

And not the good kind.

Oh, but it gets better.

To encourage the kid to use her for all your sickening sexual fantasies- abuse, stripping, rape, role playing, whatever- that crosses all moral lines ever instituted.

Seriously, can anybody honestly tell me that a school that goes that far to get players deserves to have sports teams? Paying players is bad enough, but we’d all be naive if we thought it happened only at Auburn, USC, Ohio State, etc. But the prostitute thing is where the whole thing crosses the threshold of absurdity.

Wait. It still gets better.

There may be questions about Tim Tebow’s talent, but nobody, not even his biggest haters, can question his morals. Even Jim Rome praised him as a person. So if all else fails, Miami should get the death penalty because of the downright ridiculous claim that a 5,000 dollar bounty was on Tebow. I mean, come on. If you have to try to bring down Florida, why would you ever go after Tebow? It’s pointless. You’ll never find him guilty of anything worse than doing the Gator Chomp at a trash talking opponent. For the sheer stupidity of daring to try to take down Saint Tebow, Miami should be shut down.

What less would be expected of a Ponzi schemer?

Here’s the kicker: all of the players were the highest rated coming out of high school, and the best ones didn’t even sign with Miami. Both Florida receiver Andre Debose and Georgia tight end Orson Charles were apparently connected somehow to Nevin Shapiro’s recruiting trips, and both showed promise in 2010 and appear ready for breakout 2011 seasons.

Some of the current Miami players named are big ones, too: QB Jacory Harris, Sean Spence, Ray Ray Armstrong, Travis Benjamin, Marcus Forston, Dyron Dye, Aldarius Johnson, Olivier Vernon, Vaughn Telemaque, and former Miami QB (now Purdue QB) Robert Marve.

Some of the former players include Devin Hester, Vince Wilfork, Sean Taylor, Willis McGahee, Jon Beason, Tyrone Moss and Antrel Rolle

Whoa. Those are some big parts to the team!!!

You know what else is really funny? Miami won the BCS Championship in 2001. Immediately after, Shapiro began his fun. Miami has not won a national championship since, nor have they been close since 2002.

Yeah, that’s right. All this was going on and they sucked!!! Isn’t that ironic?

Now let’s go the coach’s angle. Look at the trouble Ohio State got into when it was found out that Jim Tressel knew about Terrelle Pryor and his improper benefits. He lost his job and Ohio State lost all of its 2010 wins, including its BCS Sugar Bowl win. That was the Buckeye’s first ever bowl victory over the SEC. They were 0-9 until then, and just when they removed that blemish from their alltime record, they lost it all. And then Pryor was banned from the Buckeyes for his role in it.

Multiply that by 12, and that’s how much trouble Miami’s in now.

Let me reiterate: Ohio State lost all its wins, including a bowl win, its coach, and its QB. Times 12 and that’s the trouble Miami is looking at.

So, let’s recap. Miami was always a dirty program. Florida’s 30 arrests under Urban Meyer, Georgia’s 47 arrests in a 5 year span under Richt, FSU overloading the police blotter so it’s impossible to count the total, and Tennessee’s quietly turmoil filled program combined all pale in comparison to Miami in its dirty days. They hit unpadded opponents with helmets and crutches, refused to shake hands with their opponents, refused to go to team dinners with their opponents, and just generally loved the cheap shot on opponents.

That’s all BS: Before Scandal.

Now, in AS: After Scandal:

-Over 70 players received benefits

-12 or more coaches knew of this and kept quiet

-Benefits included (but not limited to) money, sex parties at strip clubs, prostitutes to practice sexual fantasies on, trips on yachts, paying for abortions of girls players knocked up and free shots in bars

And they shouldn’t get the death penalty?

No. They should be shut down for good. No matter the time frame, this program always found trouble, like Pigpen from Peanuts. Other programs have had their issues, don’t get me wrong. Free Shoe University had a good 30 year period of thuggery, Georgia has plenty of players getting arrested, and Tennessee has the same issue.

And let’s be honest- Florida is no sanctuary from this stuff either. I’ll be straight up and admit that to Miami fans. The Gators had their share of problems, from Jacquez Rickerson stealing a credit card (that just so happened to belong to Ashley Slonina, Joe Haden’s girlfriend- who died in a tragic motorcycle accident) to Brandon Spikes trying to poke Washaun Ealey in the eyes to good ole Cam Newton the laptop thief.

My point is that this stuff happened over a five year period. Miami has probably done all the above and worse over the last ten years, and they’re just better at hiding it.

But finally, the truth has come out about Miami.

If you’re that desperate to get players to come to you, then you shouldn’t be playing college athletics. It’s just a game when you think about it, and it isn’t even professional sports. It’s just a bunch of college kids wanting to impress the pros to get there. For many kids at big schools, winning comes second after getting your name out there. But it is still a game.

The NCAA needs to make an example out of Miami and destroy their athletics altogether. Maybe reinstate the minor ones after a year or two. But the football program should be thrown in the garbage, and locked in there to send a message to any other school thinking that being a dirty group of players for ~50 years will be not just acceptable, but rewarded with championships and a good football reputation.

And then throw away the key.

8 thoughts on “Bring The Death Penalty To Miami – Forever

  1. Sad sad sad day in college football. I do think the death penalty is coming, that 30 for 30 program featuring SMU had nothing on what’s going on at the “U”. Great article Neil and I couldn’t agree more, Miami does all this cheating off the field and still can’t get over .500. The saddest part to me though would be the players that was not involved they will suffer as well as Golden he’s a h*ll of a coach and he deserved to know what was going on before he was hired. I want to see what will happen with the former AD of Miami the guy who is now running the NCAA, he came down strong on USC knowing the entire time his old program was the worst in history in regards to cheating off the field. Hey Miami fans once your football team is dead we will become the “Real U” BOOM!!!!

  2. I agree with everything you said except for one thing: we’re already the U. We crushed Miami and have ripped that distinction from them by winning 65 games the last 6 years.

  3. Hey at least the 305 will have a new wave of highly accredited thugs to add to their gang populaiton!

  4. I really hope Miami gets the death penalty. They suck anyway. The NCAA needs to set a precedent that this cannot be tolerated. And while Miami might be pretty good at hiding their misbehavior, eventually these things always come to light and now it’s time to accept the consequences of their actions.

    P.S. The bounty on Tebow thing is hilarious.

  5. We shouldn’t be hoping for a death penalty at all. Every major program is susceptible to boosters and a kid’s temptation. It could very easily happen to Florida.

    At most they should get a five year slap, but I doubt they’ll get even that – this incident comes on the heels of coaches proposing increased compensation and the argument about paying kids stronger than ever, not to mention the apparent real shift to super conferences and the BCS breaking away from the NCAA.

    We can take comfort in mocking all the Miami fans who were saying things like “UFelons” and how Shannon, while not having much success on the field, ran a clean program and Meyer was dirty.

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