Gators Claim Inaugural Capital One Cup

Sure, the Gator football team sucked and blew enough to form a tornado.

Sure, the Gator basketball team blew a shot at a national championship on a dumb play call by their star coach.

Sure, the Gator baseball team choked away a surefire win against SC in the CWS on a play that would embarrass a Little League team.

And just as sure as those three things are true, the Gators are the best athletic program in the world. Not the country- the world.

What Gatorhaters forget is that the football team won 8 games. Traditional powerhouses Texas, Georgia, Tennessee and Miami can’t claim the same.

What Gatorhaters forget is that the basketball team made it to the Elite 8. Traditional powerhouses Syracuse, Ohio State, Villanova and Duke can’t claim the same.

What Gatorhaters forget is that UF made the World Series Championship. Didn’t see anybody not named South Carolina there.

The Capital One Cup is an award that goes to the best men’s and women’s athletic programs in the nation. Schools earned points based on their team’s performance in various sports. In its first year of existence, the Gators ran away with it in the men’s standings, and finished fourth in the women’s.

Suck on this, Gatorhaters.

Neil ShulmanNo, don’t suck. Many of you do enough of that already. Georgia does it so much that it could pull a Mack truck out of the depths of the ocean.

Chomp on this.

Chomp, chomp, chomp.

We are the best men’s athletics program in the world. Since American schools frequently import players from other nations in some of the less popular sports, it becomes an international thing.

How better than to erase the memory of Florida’s offensive circus on the gridiron than to watch the Gators hoist the Capital One Cup on July 13th?

7 thoughts on “Gators Claim Inaugural Capital One Cup

  1. Foley is the man, it must hurt him to be dead on with every coach he’s hired. The University of Florida will win multiple Capital One Cups just sit back and enjoy the ride my fellow Gators.

  2. Yeah he did. And you win the “most semen wasted on the bottom of a bridge” award. Congratulations!!! You win free Tim Tebow porn!!!

  3. I wonder how long the Capital One will be around, other schools may stop caring after we win 10 in row.

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