Gators Reach All Time Low

To Chris Rainey and Jeff Demps: I’m sorry, I’m extremely sorry. We were hoping for a mediocre season, something Florida’s never done since Charlie Pell was here, but I promise you one thing. A lot of bad will come out of this. You will never see any coach who will take advantage of this in recruiting as much as Jimbo, you will never see any team win so convincingly with more penalty yards than total yards, and you will never see a fan base be so pissed off by a loss as Gator Nation. God help this team (since the offensive linemen sure won’t).

These were two of Florida’s greatest and most exciting playmakers ever, and they could do nothing but watch as FSU walked into the Swamp, took the Sunshine State Supremacy without firing a single shot, said thank you very much, and walked right out with a shockingly easy 21-7 win.

I’ll come right out and say it.

I am humiliated to be a Florida Gator right now. This team is so bad, FSU could have literally taken a knee on EVERY PLAY THE ENTIRE GAME and won, because their defense was the only offense they needed.

Seriously: if FSU had taken knees on every offensive play aside from fourth downs, they would have kicked two field goals on drives starting deep inside Florida territory thanks to interceptions, and with the pick 6, they have 13 points. This also means they wouldn’t have fumbled, leading to Florida points, so had FSU taken a knee on every single offensive play, they would have won 13-0.

I know Florida has had some bad games, particularly recently and particularly on offense and had some bad years, but I’m not sure it’s ever been so bad the opposing team’s offense could have actually taken knees on every snap and then punt it away or kick field goals before.

Why did this whole ugly mess ever happen?

The offensive line was offensive. Again. Sure, Brantley made some bad decisions, and I am not defending him tonight, but then if the offensive line blocks for more than a nanosecond, maybe he doesn’t have to rush that throw. Yes, he should have taken sacks there, but if there’s good blocking, he’s not forced to make that bad decision. Those turnovers should not be blamed all on Brantley; rather, he and the o-line should share the blame equally.

That’s not even something to get angry about. We covered that back in the first few weeks of the season. Now that our sad little attempt of a season is over, we can just sit back and laugh. It’s all history now. The Gators should just decline any bowl invitation they get- even lose the 15 extra practices, I wouldn’t care. All bowl games are on TV, so why humiliate yourselves in front of a national audience again?

Oh and for what it’s worth, say goodbye to outstanding linebacker Dante Fowler, who has probably spent more time in Gainesville than any verbal commit in FSU history. He might have even been rooting for UF so he could have a reason to pledge to Florida, but now, well, it’s just not happening.

Back to the game. Let’s go through the mistakes briefly, since they’re essentially the same ones the Gators have been making all year. I know I just went over them. But then Florida just turned the ball over, why should they do it again? Come on, let me roll like my beloved and horrible Gators.

The Gators turned the ball over 4 times, and three of them directly led to TD’s. FSU turned it over only once- leading to a Gator touchdown. That’s the difference, folks. Our offense, particularly the passing game was abysmal and should have just stayed home. Maybe they did, to be honest. They sure weren’t in the Swamp. Speaking of taking knees, that’s probably what UF should have done on offense. They went backwards on 13 plays, which makes FSU’s 9 negative plays appear to be good by comparison.

Florida actually gained twice the yardage that FSU did, and still lost because once again, they gave the ball- and the game- away. What kind of messed up world do we live in?

I’m finished with the rants against our team. They started out as objectively pointing out the Gators’ shortcomings, transformed into yelling at them, and then turned into full blown screaming and cursing. But  you know what? I’m done with that. This team doesn’t care. That’s the most sickening part of all. The ESPN2 (why not CBS? Oh, right, because they don’t want to watch us bumble around) broadcast kept showing the Gator sideline. There was no emotion throughout the course of the game. No players jumping up and down, raising their arms, gesturing to the fans to get loud, none of that. 

This team just doesn’t even care.

So you know what? Neither do I.

Good luck in the bowl game, Gators, because I am shifting my focus to Gator basketball. They actually try hard. I’m not watching the bowl game, because there are better things to do than watch us struggle to put up a single point. For instance, there will probably be a good episode of Spongebob Squarepants on.

Oh, and guys: hold off on calling for Muschamp and Weis to be fired. This was year one, and Nick Saban was 7-6 in his first year. Let’s not be so hasty. Let’s give them another year to use players they want to run their systems to, well, run their systems and not run this vaudeville act some people call offense. At least for now, hang on and wait a little longer.

Because as absolutely crazy as this seems, this may actually help us in recruiting.

Noah Spence, Nelson Agholor, Tracy Howard and Jonathan Bullard at some point have all hinted that they want more playing time where they can directly be the cause for a team’s resurrection. These are four of the most highly touted uncommitted recruits in the nation we’re talking about. Florida is the perfect place for that. As long as UF holds on to its prized offensive line trio of DJ Humphries, Omari Phillips and Jessamen Dunker, they will eventually be scary on offense with Matt Jones and Mike Davis, two of the best running backs.

The defense is already there. They silently did a great job all year- they even made some nice stops against Alabama and LSU. They certainly did a great job against FSU tonight. That is an improvement from last year. But the unthinkable thought that the offense is just as bad if not worse than last year keeps this team at the mediocre level.

So these guys are not that far off. Muschamp has done a good job with the defense. There’s always room for improvement, of course, to go from good to great in our case, but we’re not as bad as our record says we are, sorry Bill Parcells.

If only we didn’t beat ourselves, and had even an average offensive line we’d be 10-2. Talent-wise, that’s exactly where we are.

Sickening, isn’t it?

Welcome to Gator Nation.

But hey, at least our basketball team is doing well!

For now.


3 thoughts on “Gators Reach All Time Low

  1. Now that we’re reportedly playing Ohio State I will. However, I reserve my right to flip to the Capital One Bowl/Outback Bowl if it gets ugly.

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