Ten Teams that Florida Football Owes a Good Beatdown

OK, we all know who we lost to last year, and we all know who our rivals are.

But these ten teams have done something to insult Gator foorball in some way. Although some people have forgotten, I haven’t and I’m sure some other Gator fans haven’t either.

Florida doesn’t play all of them next year, but when they do, they need to lay a beatdown on them.

As the 2011 team takes shape, and I know who’s won starting jobs, who tore his ACL and will miss the season, etc., I will preview each of these games from a football standpoint.

So here goes, ranging from (10) least necessary to (1) desperately needs a whooping.

10) Florida Atlantic

Next Meeting: 2011 @Gainesville

What? FAU??? They’re harmless!!! What have they done? Well, nothing on their own, but their coach, Howard Schnellenberger, once ran it up on Florida when he was coaching Miami (the south Florida version) because the Gator fans pelted his team with oranges. Why did they throw oranges? Schnellenberger flipped off the crowd and did the Gator Chomp. What better way to begin the Will Muschamp era with a blowout win?

9) Miami(FL)

Next Meeting: 2013 @Miami

The battle for Sunshine State Supremacy will be in the Orange Bowl (or wherever the Canes play) in 2013. Let’s see if Will Muschamp can embarrass one of the few nearby teams that he doesn’t have some kind of relationship with. Jeff Driskel will be a junior then and he’ll hopefully have a great grip on Charlie Weis’s new offense. Plus, it’s essential for recruiting. And, you know, they’re a rival who has embarrassed UF in the past (see Schnellenberger).

8) Alabama

Next Meeting: 2011 @Gainesville

The Gators have an awful taste still in their mouths from the past two times they’ve played the Crimson Tide and they want a shot at revenge. They’ll get their chance in the Swamp with a rare rebuilding Bama team that has lost 19 of its 22 starters from the 2009 BCS Championship team. This game should be called the “Talent-Developing Bowl” for obvious reasons- which coaching staff does more with its players?

7) Ohio State

Next Meeting: ???

Who knows when (or if) these two scools will meet again. One thing I know is that the Buckeyes suddenly think they own the SEC because they beat an error-prone Arkansas team in the Sugar Bowl. I’m sick and tired of them running their mouths about how they would have actually tried had they known that Florida was actually decent. I hope Jeremy Foley quits being a ({}) and schedules them, anytime, anywhere. Let’s see how good they really are.

6) FSU

Next Meeting: 2011 @Gainesville

Jimbo Fisher and Will Muschamp co-own a beach house. Maybe the two of them should have a deal where the winner of the UF-FSU game wins the beach house for the next year. Whatever they do, Muschamp does not strike me as the type of guy that will put more value into friendships than into winning. His name is Coach Boom, right? They disrespected the Gators last year by cutting the head off a toy Gator right for the world to see (newsflash, that was UF’s idea by chomping the head off a toy Indian and carrying it around). But they have to come to the Swamp this year. Ooooooooh. This should be good.


Next Meeting: 2011 @Auburn

Even if Newton doesn’t return, this is still the resurrection of an old rivalry game that needs to be taken seriously. Wes Byrum, who is also gone, beat Florida with a walk-off field goal in 2007 and mocked the Gator crowd with, of course, the Chomp. Plus, they handed Florida their only defeat in 2006. It’s up the 2011 version of Gator football to avenge that. Let’s see if Will Muschamp can do what Urban Meyer never did- beat Auburn.


Next Meeting: 2011 @Jacksonville, FL

Muschamp went there. We know that. We hate them. We know that too. So why do we owe them an especially good lickin? Because we always do, and also because Todd Grantham thought he was funny by telling Chas Henry that “you’re gonna f*ckin choke!!!”. In fact, I’m still not sure we’re even for the 2007 Dunce Dunce Revolution the Bulldogs staged. A quick way for Muschamp to get on the Gators fans’ good side: put your relationship with UGA down and crush them!!!

3)Southern Cal

Next Meeting: ???

Like Ohio State, this matchup may not happen again for an eternity. But Lane Kiffin still has yet to receive the “welcome to head coaching in college football” beatdown that he asked for the day that he was announced as head coach. Florida can’t draw them in a bowl game unless it’s a BCS game, which could happen, but not likely. It’s not even a possibility until 2012, when USC’s bowl ban is lifted. I want to trounce Lane Kiffin so badly, but I think this is going to be an itch that can’t be scratched. It’s all wishful thinking. Sorry.

2)South Carolina

Next Meeting: 2011, @Columbia

The Gamecocks mercifully put an end to the Gators SEC Championship season, which was just as well. I couldn’t have watched Steve Addazio “lead” the “Offense” against Auburn. Can you imagine what would have happened? That doesn’t mean we’ve forgiven our old buddy Steve Spurrier. In fact, now we want to destroy his team. It’s in Columbia, which makes it a little bit harder, but it’s definitely doable.

1)Ole Miss

Next Meeting: 2012 @Oxford

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Bet you guys thought this day would never come, huh? The rematch with the team that ruined Florida’s perfect season in 2008. I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve carried a personal grudge against Ole Miss ever since that game (and I actually like them). Here’s Florida’s shot to hand them the beatdown that they were good enough to administer to the Rebels three years ago.

As I said, once I get a feel for what the teams look like, I will go into detail with strategy for each game (except for USC and Ohio State).

From a way too early look, I think that Florida has a shot to win every game on here.

Again, that could change, but we’ve got awhile.

Revenge, guys. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

And it’s almost here….


9 thoughts on “Ten Teams that Florida Football Owes a Good Beatdown

  1. I would’ve put Georgia at the top because I hate that team. It may sound crazy but I want to rematch Miami (Ohio) and beat them like we should’ve beaten them last year. Another team that makes my list is Michigan, I still remember we were the team that lost to the team that lost to App St. Makes my blood boil!

  2. I don’t think Georgia tops the list anymore because quite frankly it means nothing to beat them because we’ve won 18 of the past 21. Miami Ohio, not really because that was purely Addazio’s idiocy and we still won by 3 TD’s. The Hawks didn’t do anything to offend us. I have nothing against them. Now that I think about it, you know who Florida REALLY NEEDS TO PLAY??? TEMPLE!!!

  3. YES!!!! Temple every year that dumbass is coaching until he gets fired (which could be soon). All we have to do is clog the middle and score 3 points to win. The other 70 points we hang on good-ole Stevey is the best revenge we’ll ever get for that man destroying our team.

  4. I want to destroy Tennessee as well. Being a Gator in Knoxville is hard, and even though we’ve beat them for so long now, I still want to beat the crap out of them.

    Rocky Flop nation thinks they have a good team on their hands after winning games against the bottom feeders of the SEC. After hearing all the whining about how they beat UNC and LSU and got screwed by the refs, I’m ready to beat them by about 40 points and rub their nose in it a bit.

    Plus, I think we still owe it to Dooley to introduce him to the rivalry the proper way…

  5. I don’t think you dislike Georgia as much as I do. Living here and being a Gator is hard because they still brag about holding the series record. It drives me bleeping crazy! I agree about Temple but Dumbazzio would never schedule that lol. I want to bash Tennessee also, there are fans here saying if we played them later in the season they would have beat us. To be honest I just want to play Gator football again that means our 2nd team would be in the entire 2nd half against teams like Miami (Ohio). Winning by 21 against a team like that is a lose for teams like Florida.

  6. I have to agree with you putting Ole Miss at the top of the list. That damn game from 08′ still haunts my ass and for whatever reason they’ve had good success against us before that game. They have been annoying as hell, at least to me that is.
    After that the rest of my top 5 would be Georgia #2, Alabama #3, South Carolina #4, and Miami #5.

  7. The Pac 10 champ on the road at 11 am eastern time, preferably USC, and it has nothing to do with Lane Kiffin.

    USC fans have a funny way of screaming how Florida’s OOC is a joke and USC is brave.

    Yeah, USC schedules their OOC games early in the season so they have time to recover, should they falter.

    Although FSU has been down, that game used to decide national championship fate and it ended each team’s regular season. Regardless, it’s an OOC arch rival that they cap off the regular season with – much gutsier than early in the season.

    “but but but……they don’t leave the state for their OOC games” is something you hear.

    Somehow, the geniuses also forget that neither does their opponent. If Florida traveling to Tallahassee and winning is not impressive because Talli is just down the road from Gainesville and there’s no real road weary factor, well, then a win IN Gainesville should be doubly impressive, what with the Noles essentially having a home game due to proximity.

  8. Pac 12 fans or USC fans really get a kick out of playing Ohio State. That’s seems like a good matchup but I don’t respect Ohio State. The SEC is hard enough why not get a cupcake on the schedule to balance it out. What we need is a playoff!

  9. I too lived in Gatlinburg, TN a while and then Knoxville, TN. I loved getting to see Rex Grossman light up the scoreboard in Neyland Stadium. Tennessee fans are very passionate and would give anything to beat us.. You better believe that if they were to beat us in Knoxville they would storm the field and throw the goalposts off the Henley St Bridge. Nothing makes me happier than beating Tennessee. Cam Newton kind of had his coming out party in 07 against Tennessee after the starters were taken out and he made a few Tebow-like plays, running over some of their defensive players.

    Listening to their talk radio up there is sad, they whine and complain about anything that doesn’t go their way.

Comments are closed.